What is wrong with me?

 

I forgot to do something that was very important, how could that happen? What’s wrong with me?

“What’s wrong with me?” is the question we ask every time we make a mistake.

I don’t think there is anything in particular wrong with us besides being human and making human errors.

Every time we do something good we never say, “what is so great about me that I can do this so efficiently?”

For whatever reason, we always stick out our mistakes and ignore our achievements.

It is time to let go of that behavior and get the feel of your greatness.

Every time you make a mistake (no matter how big) instead of picking on yourself, think of a caption that says: “Lesson Learned” and move on to the next project.

Every time you do something successfully (no matter how small), pat yourself on the back and say, “I am amazing”.

Repeat this until it becomes a habit.

This is not applicable to lazy people. Always work honestly & truthfully and biggest problems will become small and smallest achievements will turn into glorious moments.

I am amazing that I wrote this 😉

Making mistakes

Mistakes are part of our lives. Yet they are frowned upon. But who is frowning upon them? Those who never make mistakes? Those who make mistakes but at least not very big mistakes?

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We all make mistakes. I do not mean to affirm that I make mistakes, because that would be bad hahaha. I just mean that don’t fight your every mistake. Forgot to put milk back in the fridge? Whatever… throw the spoiled milk and buy a new carton. Fresh milk is better anyway. For the economy as well.

Sometimes we make big mistakes at work. E.g. maybe did not ship an important document on time or forgot an important deadline that will cost company money. So what should we do now?

We must start by forgiving ourselves. Mistakes are always to be forgiven. We automatically go in a self criticizing mode because it is a way of paying for our mistakes. But mistakes do not need to be paid of, they need to be forgiven. If your child or best friend made mistakes would you berate them or forgive them? Treat yourself as you would your best friend. And if you do berate them, start to forgive them. If you forgive mistakes of others, your mistakes will be forgiven by others.

I personally have hard time forgiving my mistakes because I used to get hit as a child when I made mistakes. If you did not get physically hit, you may have received verbal abuse. Such events shape our lives therefore it is not your fault if you criticize yourself.

So, the first step is to forgive yourself for being hard on the self. That is how you were brought up. Your parents did not know any better, so they could not have taught you better.

Remember that making mistakes do not make you a bad person. Simply acknowledge that what happened was an unintentional event and that you learned your lesson for the next time. Even if you repeat the mistakes, do not worry about it. Sometimes, it takes time to learn. We all have different pace of learning.

In many instances we worry about what others will think of us. This is a problem for me as well. Know that others do not dwell on your mistakes if you do not dwell upon them. Release every past event –whether it was a mistake or not. If we think about it, even mistakes are part of our journeys that shape our future. When you make too many mistakes, you should take a look at the underlying cause. Perhaps you do not appreciate the environment and then it might be time for you to stop trying. This is not quitting, it is an act of surrendering. I have surrendered from a job where I made one too many simple mistakes. I tried my best but I could not improve the situation. But that was when I did not know that there was a reason behind that negative environment. Take charge and change your situation now. Repeat these affirmations every morning.

My work is always recognized positively.

Everything I touch is a success.

All my tasks are easy.

It is easy for me to focus on the assignment.

I review my work carefully.

I take criticism constructively.

I forgive myself for not being perfect.

I work at a job that makes me happy.

My happiness is foremost.

I laugh throughout the day – even at my own mistakes.

I am inspired.

New ideas flow through me.

I am a creative person.

Divine force guides me.

I understand my tasks.

I remember information.

I take good notes.

I ask intelligent questions.

I love myself just the way I am.

I am tolerant towards mistakes of others.

I forgive myself and others.

I love life.

Surrendering

If you swim or even tried to learn swimming, you know that the key to floating is to stop struggling and letting go. In my mother tongue Marathi there is a beautiful saying, “Panyache vagane kiti visangat, pohnyarala budawate, pretala thevate tarangat.” It means that, “Behavior of water is so odd, swimmers sink and dead bodies float”.

Force of water is nothing compare to our small bodies. When we flow with the water, we join the force instead of defending against it. Defending yourself is an attack against you. You are expecting the Universe to be against you. It is not the case. The Universe wants to lift you up and take you to places you cannot imagine. But you have to let go of your struggles. Water can float you only when you embrace it.

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In our everyday life we are constantly struggling. Struggling to make money, raise a family, upgrading cars, upgrading homes, etc. You may think that you are in the worst situation but you are never bound to stay there. Even if you are in a prison, your mind is always free to wander. You do have the ultimate power.

Surrendering does not mean giving up, it means letting go.

Quit trying to control everything. Simply dream and imagine. Universe will take care of the rest. Have faith that you are meant to live a life like king and queen. Royals never take care of details, they simply ask and wait to receive what they want. Yes, you do need to take actions but you do not need to control every single thing. Most of our controlling needs come from the past and future. We are often chain with the past limitations and uncertainty of future makes us anxious. When you feel fearful or anxious it is time to surrender. Surrendering means to focus on the present moment. You enjoy the beauty around you, you notice color of your desk or drawer, you realize that you are blinking every 2 seconds, you notice location of your tongue, you are aware that you are reading a blog, you realize stars behind the blog pages J

You already surrender every few seconds without realizing it. How? Every time you exhale, you surrender to the Universe knowing that your next breath is waiting for you. You don’t keep your breath inside out of fear that the next breath won’t be there. You have faith that the next breath will be there. That is the faith you need when you surrender.

Sometimes we may not get the results that we want when we let go of things. For example, you are taking a hard class in school and struggling to pass it. Do you keep working hard towards it or do you withdraw? If you withdraw there are consequences such as lost tuition or graduating late or losing financial aid etc. Surrendering in this case is not necessarily withdrawing; it can be trying to relax and enjoying the class. Instead of trying to pass the class, you are surrendering to learning. You can let go of your old studying patterns and learn new ways of approaching the subject. Asking for help is also surrendering.

Sometimes we may find ourselves in suffocating relationships that we are too afraid to let go. We are fearful that we are giving up on people, even worse on ourselves. But it is never giving up, it is only letting go. Let go of people who do not nurture you. Surrender to your bliss. Demanding relationships do not deserve your attention. It is time to let them go.

To let go of old patterns, we can start learning new things. Dancing, kayaking, smiling, complimenting, loving, socializing in different events, reading a new genre of books, or listening to new music, are all different ways of surrendering.

Besides, it is in vain to try to change your circumstance or people around you. When you do not like something, simply let it go. There is no reason to change it. There is only person you can change and that is yourself. You have no power on anyone else. Thankfully, it means nobody has power over you.

Are you ready to surrender? Will you surrender right now? If yes, please repeat the following:

I surrender to the Universe, to the infinite.

I may not know what tomorrow will bring but I know the Sun will shine and it is enough for me.

I let go of the need to control everything.

Universe surprises me in the most blissful way. I look forward to all the presents that present moment brings.

I release my fears (past) and anxiety (future) because I choose to accept the gift of this present moment.

5 Es to Exceptional You

Express, Environment, Energize, Experience, Evolve

1. Express yourself: You are a channel through which Universe expresses itself. If you do not express, you are denying the truth that is within you.

What is mean by expressing yourself? Expressing does not mean giving opinions.

Expressing = accepting your feelings. It is about you.

E.g. She is a bitch an Opinion

I am angry at her because her actions made me feel bad is Expressing

When others fail to fulfill our expectations we feel angry, resentful, envious, frustrated etc.

We need to identify how we feel about certain issues and then release the emotions.

Why?  Trapped emotions reflect through our bodies. Emotions = Energy. Energy needs to escape so it can be repurposed. By releasing your emotions i.e. expressing yourself, you make space for new energy. If you are always angry, how can you ever be joyous?

I do not mean you forget what happened. You consciously forgive others and yourself so you can move on.

How to express yourself? When your partner says something hurtful or when your boss criticizes you, don’t bottle it up. I don’t mean scream at them right there and then. Remember that expressing yourself is about you, not them.

When you are alone or with a trusted friend (a friend who does not judge you), let go of yourself completely. Imagine the person who has hurt you is with you and then talk to them (imagination only). Tell him or her how you feel.

E.g. you were passed on for a promotion. When you are alone, imagine your boss is with you. Say, “Kristina (boss), I am so angry that you did not give me the promotion. I worked hard for 2 years and it feels like it did not matter at all. I feel very disappointed. I feel like I have been taken advantage of. I feel angry, resentful, betrayed and frustrated. How could you do this to me?” Think of all the emotions you are feeling and express them. If it helps, write them down but saying verbally feels so much better. Cry if you feel like it. You are not doing anything bad. You are releasing your emotions.

When you feel a little better, then ask yourself what would make this situation better? Find a solution that gives you feelings of control and satisfaction (I don’t mean revenge). Can you look for another position? Can you ask for a transfer?  Was the other person, in fact, more eligible?

Sometimes when you talk to someone when they are not with you, they can still hear you (through vibrations). Maybe your boss will realize her mistake and promote you as well.

Remember to express your positive emotions as well. Laugh with your heart and eyes. There is always something silly and funny going on. Lighten up your heart.

2. Environment: Your environment brings your experiences. If you are constantly in negative environment, your experiences will be similar. You can control your environment.

Consciously choose your surroundings.

You adapt to your surroundings unless you are aware of it. Hanging out with a constant complainer may make you the same way. You do not have to ignore that person fearfully.

When you are with a person who makes you feel bad, simply observe him or her. Do not judge. Know that his or her experiences do not have to be true for you. Be a listening ear and nothing else. Don’t feel his or her feelings. When you do not give constant attention to complainers they tend to leave you alone so they can find someone who will feel bad for them.

Surround yourself with positive energy, people and places. Go for a walk in nature, do some yoga, listen to uplifting music or watch funny videos. These are some of the ways to consciously choose your surroundings.

3. Energize: Your sacred body and mind needs sacred energy.

Your body loves you, love it back.

Energize your body with nourishing foods and water. Eat for your body, not for your feelings.

Physical exercise will release trapped emotions and toxins from your body while providing you with energy.

Yoga will connect your mind and body with each other.

Energize your soul by expressing yourself as mentioned in the 1st point.

Meditate regularly. Meditation connects you with the source. This is the strongest way to energize.

4. Experience: Do not judge your circumstances. Simply experience them. You do not know whether particular situation is good or bad.

When someone gives you a gift, you think it is as a good experience. You do not know that yet. The person who gives you the gift may have bad intentions for you but you do not know that. When you receive a gift, simply observe how you feel. Do you feel happy, appreciated, or loved?

When someone hurts you, you think it is a bad experience. You do not know that yet. Perhaps a small “bad” experience has saved you from a big “bad” experience. Observe how you feel. Do you feel betrayed, hopeless or disappointed?

When you become an observer of your experience, you immediately connect to the source. By judging your experiences, you are charging them positively or negatively. Keep your experiences neutral.

5. Evolve: Learn from your mistakes. Do not fret over them. Change habits that do not connect you with the source. Failure evolves you to succeed, so don’t be afraid to fail and keep trying.

Forgive and accept yourself.

Read more, experience more and live every moment.

Follow your ideas

More frequently than not, we come up with great ideas. We think it can change the world. We feel happy and thrilled. Everything seems in its place until someone doesn’t agree with us or when we doubt our own success. Doubts would be something like these: there are already people who are providing these services or goods, you will face too much competition, you are not big enough blah blah blah. Then, we give up even before we start.

There will always be people who don’t agree with your ideas. Fortunately there are always people who support you with your purpose. These are the people who inspire you and who are inspired by you. Inspiration is not always obvious. Sometimes we inspire without knowing. People don’t always verbalize their gratitude or positive feelings. This does not mean that you do not make a difference in their lives.

Don’t doubt your own efforts. Do it for the people who inspire you and that person can very well be yourself. If you make a small difference even in one person’s life, it’s worth the effort.

The ideas that come in your head, are not your own. You receive them from your Higher Self.  No matter how small, take an action. It can be just writing down your ideas in the notebook. It will make a difference.

Good Luck!

Taking things personally

When people talk negative about us or look down at us, it is hard not to take it personally. But what exactly are we taking personally? It is other people’s opinions and feelings. The hurtful feelings are not ours. We are taking on unnecessary burden.

When people are behaving negatively, their behavior says a lot about them and NEVER about you.

Their opinion about you or your behavior comes from their upbringings or thoughts; it has NOTHING to do with you or your behavior.

Therefore, do not take anything personally. They don’t know you the way you know yourself. Perhaps you made mistakes but you are not a mistake. Your mistakes don’t represent you. You are whole regardless of your behavior.

If we hate people who hate us, then we are reflecting on their behavior, not their true self. If we forgive those who hurt us, we are reflecting on their true self. And since we are all one source, forgiveness means being true to ourselves.

It is easier to forgive than you think. We all have said bad things about others, either to hurt them or gain approval from others. If you can forgive yourself, you can forgive those who have done the same thing.

So next time someone says something hurtful, remember to repeat, “It is not about me, it is about them. I forgive.” 🙂

 

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Thought Pollution

We are aware of noise, water and air pollution. There is also thought pollution on this earth.

Thought pollution is defined as contamination of inner peace by negative thoughts.

Thinking is an important tool for human beings. We think, so we can solve our problems. When we start creating problems in our head, thoughts become problems.

Our thoughts have frequencies to attract similar thoughts. E.g. when we think inspiring thoughts, our next thoughts will also be inspiring, unless this frequency gets interrupted by a different thought e.g. an insult by your boss.

Once our thought gets contaminated by a negative thought, similar thoughts will get attracted.

When we fall asleep, we do not think. Our brains are working but we do not think. If we sleep for 7-8 hours, we wake up refreshed. This is the best time to think positive thoughts because we get to start a new string of thoughts.

Start your day with appreciation for life. You will think similar thoughts throughout your day.

When this string gets interrupted by an outside negative thought, start appreciating again. Appreciation is the best way to keep the mind clear of negative thinking.

This is not a onetime process. Just as we clean our bodies every day, we must clean our minds every day.

A dusty piece of jewelry is still jewelry. Crumbled money does not lose its value, we simply straighten it out. It is the same with mind. When our minds are clean and clear, we can see its beauty. We become aware of its magnificence.

We can change our thought patterns by shifting to one powerful thought. It can be from within e.g. a positive self-talk or from outside e.g. a compliment from a friend. You do not want to be dependent on outside force. To shift your thought, practice going within. You are not limiting yourself but tapping into an infinite force. By going within, you are approaching the whole Universe.

This newsletter is intended to start a positive thought string in the morning. I hope your every day is filled with laughter and joy.

Remember: only when clouds disappear, we can see the beautiful stars 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Fly High with Knowledge

When I first learned about the law of attraction, I wondered how a nice person can attract bad things. I thought that a good person can never have bad thoughts.

I now realize that there are no such things as good or bad. We have created these labels for our convenience.

The law of attraction does not judge us. It only responds to the frequency of our thoughts. When we are vibrating on a frequency of being a victim, the law of attraction will bring us people who will make us feel like a victim. The law doesn’t say, “omg, Smita what are you doing, think something different” or “even though she is thinking thoughts of being a victim I will still bring her people who respect her”. The law does not label our thoughts; it simply brings them as a reality.

This is the reason bad things happen to good people. I recently met a person who does his best to serve others. He told me that all his life he served others. Unfortunately he thinks that people take advantage of his good nature without reciprocating. The law of attraction simply makes it a reality for him. If he believes that he is served by others as others serve him, his reality will reflect that.

Our most important task is to pay attention to our thinking pattern. Even better would be to think as little as possible and to stay in the present moment. If silencing your mind is a too difficult task, at least think thoughts that bring you a positive reality.

In the core of us, we are neither good nor bad. We simply are. Things don’t happen to us, we attract them.

Shake the stress

 

Stress is one of the major causes of illness in human beings. We must be able to handle stress effectively.

Stress is nothing but thoughts about uncertain future and the belief that there is nothing you can do make it certain. Unfortunately it is wrong to think that we are not in control of our future. Stress is simply our thoughts and non-existent reality. If we think positively then we can create a positive reality.

Every time we have worry about the future we can simply replace those worrisome thoughts to thoughts that make us feel calmer. E.g. “I will never be able to find a job that I love” becomes “my dream job is coming to me”. Then spend your thoughts imagining how does having a great job makes you feel rather than thinking about a crappy job.

I think there is one easy way to release the stress and that is being in the present moment. It is impossible for us to stop thinking. We can guide our thoughts into thinking the way we want our future to be. When we think about the present, we are living and thinking the same thing. We eliminate past and future and thereby free ourselves from stress from both parts.

It is not easy to stay in the present moment but it is easy to come in the present moment. Think of a time when you were in deep thinking but a doorbell or a ringtone brought you in the present moment. At that moment, you only thought of the present (the buzzing sound) but went back to future when you started wondering who it could be.

By practicing coming to present moment whenever you can, you will form a habit of staying in the present moment. My father taught me a great way to stay in the present. E.g. I would walk a whole block while repeating that I am walking. I was concentrated only on the present moment and there was no worry about the future at all.

With practice, you can start staying in the present moment. Start with small tasks as doing dishes or laundry. When you are doing dishes, pay attention to the soap and water and how it is cleaning your dishes. Observe the process with your full concentration instead of doing it mechanically. Working your way from these small tasks to important task is fairly easy. E.g. instead of saying “I am stressed out about my presentation” you will say “I am giving a presentation” there will be no further thinking and hence no stress.

By staying in the present your body will eliminate the stress that can give birth to illnesses such as heart disease, obesity and sleep disorder. Your body will not feel the pressure that it feels thinking about the future. Your brain will not have to race to think too much and you will feel relaxed.

Relaxation brings good thoughts and by Law of Attraction, you will attract good experiences.

Here are some affirmations to stay in the present moment:

This is the only moment that I can live in therefore I enjoy it completely

I am in the present moment

This is the only moment that matters

I am aware of what I am doing at this moment

I observe my surroundings at this moment

I appreciate this moment

I notice what is around me

I focus on what I am doing at this moment

I release the past and accept the future for what it was/will be

This is the only moment that I can control

I am in love with this moment because of the power it has

My stressing our future does not bring any solution therefore I would rather enjoy the present moment

My current positive thinking is bringing a glorious future that I am already living

I am capable of taking care of everything that comes in my way

Universe helps me abundantly

Do it Anway

The hardest thing to do is to begin. We often plan things in our mind but rarely take actions. We are too consumed in daily lives of what is than what can be.

Can it be because we are lazy?

No, we are not lazy. We wake up every day even when we don’t feel like it, dress ourselves and our kids, go to work or school and come back home. By no means that can be called lazy.

I believe that real reason that we do not take actions is that deep within us lies fear. This fear stops us from doing something new or unusual because it might be scary. We feel safer where we are because at least we are familiar with the feelings.

There are two types of fear. Fear of failure and fear of success.

Fear of failure: This is a learned fear. I believe that fear of failure is learned through our parents. It is hard for adults to learn swimming because adults are more fearful of unknown situations compare to children, who are always eager to try new things.

As we grow older, we observe our parents or surrounding adults talking about failure in negative way and assume that this is a legit fear. If adults surrounding us did not respond to their failure positively we learned that it is bad to fail. Failing is not bad. Never trying is bad. Never taking a risk is bad.

When we do something we are bound to make mistakes. But taking no action is the worst mistake. We are bound to miss 100% of the chances we never we take.

Fear of success: Fear of success protects us from being in limelight. It is uneasy for many people to even receive a compliment. They are afraid that by being the focus they are attracting unwanted attention from enemies (due to our evolution process- lion eats the person who is in the front not the ones in group).

It is not easy to get rid of any of the fear and you shouldn’t. As I said, fear is here to protect us, it guides us. That feeling you get when you know you need to run away from danger is fear. It is only trying to protect you. It’s not only good thing, it is an amazing thing.

Every time we encounter fear before taking an action, we need to convince ourselves that there is no danger in doing it. E.g. at first you might be afraid to swim but under a trained instructor you can convince yourself that nothing bad can happen to you, you will always be protected by your instructor. If protection is taken care by instructor, fear can rest and you can finally take the first step in a swimming pool.

No matter how scared you feel to do something, do it anyway. People who succeed feel the same fear but they take actions anyway.

Taking the first step might be harder but once you get started you know your journey will end one day. You might fail but you might as well succeed.

No matter the outcome, taking the first step is already a victory.

Failure is only an illusion, with every failure there is one less attempt to try.

Success is also an illusion. Success is not just an award in a ceremony; it is the satisfaction you feel in your heart knowing that you had enough courage to go beyond your fears. You untangled the web of fear and through it you made a quantum leap into the web of actions.

Every action has a reaction; it is only matter of time when your seed will grow the first root. Remember root is within soil, you cannot see it until first sprout comes out but you know that it is there. Have patience.

Never ever stop taking actions because every time you start something you have changed this world just a bit.