One way to improve life dramatically and quickly

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TL/DR: No criticism whatsoever, not of yourself and not of others

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Life is full of valleys and peaks. There is always something to complain about. It’s not true that successful people don’t complaint. Everyone complaints. Life is not perfect. There are things that could be different and better. But often times, we don’t look at things as something to improve upon, rather we judge them as not good enough.

It is possible to improve things and ourselves without any need of criticism, if we focus on facts and eliminate all the judgments that we bring from our perspective. E.g., I forgot to put salt in my soup. This is a fact. If we add, I am forgetful so I forgot to put the salt, that’s a criticism. Take this to any area of your life. My boyfriend left me because I am not good enough. Let’s distinguish fact from judgment. Your boyfriend left. That’s it. There is no reason to criticize yourself or him.

This is not to downplay the need to improve but rather accelerating this improvement. When we focus on facts, it’s easier to tackle the main problems. As humans, we add our feelings to all aspects especially when something implies that we are not good enough. It hurts us. Unfortunately, it also adds additional layer that needs to be opened up before we can get to the underlying problem.

It may not be easy at first, but if we can focus on practicing in differentiating facts from judgments, we can accelerate our healing. See the below examples that differentiate between critical and non-critical views.

ExampleCritical Point Of View (POV)Fact based POV
My boyfriend left meMy boyfriend left me because I am not good enough, he is not a good person, etc.My boyfriend left me. It hurts. It has nothing to do with me because we are all free to do things we desire. I may have made mistakes based on what I believed in the past. From now on I will try my best make better decisions.
I did not get a promotionI didn’t get a promotion because of office politics. I did more work than others, I deserve it more than others. Life is not fair.I did not get promotion. It’s disappointing. I tried my best but at the end, this is not something that I control. I will continue to improve myself and review various options to make my life better.

As I said, this approach is not easy at the beginning. With practice, we can become better. This will not reduce our mistakes but it will shorten the time it takes to learn from our mistakes and move on.

Follow your ideas

More frequently than not, we come up with great ideas. We think it can change the world. We feel happy and thrilled. Everything seems in its place until someone doesn’t agree with us or when we doubt our own success. Doubts would be something like these: there are already people who are providing these services or goods, you will face too much competition, you are not big enough blah blah blah. Then, we give up even before we start.

There will always be people who don’t agree with your ideas. Fortunately there are always people who support you with your purpose. These are the people who inspire you and who are inspired by you. Inspiration is not always obvious. Sometimes we inspire without knowing. People don’t always verbalize their gratitude or positive feelings. This does not mean that you do not make a difference in their lives.

Don’t doubt your own efforts. Do it for the people who inspire you and that person can very well be yourself. If you make a small difference even in one person’s life, it’s worth the effort.

The ideas that come in your head, are not your own. You receive them from your Higher Self.  No matter how small, take an action. It can be just writing down your ideas in the notebook. It will make a difference.

Good Luck!

Taking things personally

When people talk negative about us or look down at us, it is hard not to take it personally. But what exactly are we taking personally? It is other people’s opinions and feelings. The hurtful feelings are not ours. We are taking on unnecessary burden.

When people are behaving negatively, their behavior says a lot about them and NEVER about you.

Their opinion about you or your behavior comes from their upbringings or thoughts; it has NOTHING to do with you or your behavior.

Therefore, do not take anything personally. They don’t know you the way you know yourself. Perhaps you made mistakes but you are not a mistake. Your mistakes don’t represent you. You are whole regardless of your behavior.

If we hate people who hate us, then we are reflecting on their behavior, not their true self. If we forgive those who hurt us, we are reflecting on their true self. And since we are all one source, forgiveness means being true to ourselves.

It is easier to forgive than you think. We all have said bad things about others, either to hurt them or gain approval from others. If you can forgive yourself, you can forgive those who have done the same thing.

So next time someone says something hurtful, remember to repeat, “It is not about me, it is about them. I forgive.” 🙂


Body is connected

Have you heard of the expression, “The Body Has a Mind of Its Own?” It’s very true.

Our bodies are connected to the Universe. We never have to take care of our bodies because our bodies take care of us. Our noses breathe for us, our hearts beat for us, our stomachs digest or store food us. If our bodies did not signal us when to go to the bathroom, we would be in big trouble. Imagine if we had to pay attention to these important details how busy we would get.  Thanks to our magnificent bodies, everything is well taken care of. Thank you beautiful bodies.

You do not have to do much to appreciate your bodies. Just keep it clean, provide it with energy from fresh vegetables, whole grains, some meat and tons of fruits. Our bodies work best on unprocessed food. Unprocessed food comes from the Universe and body can recognize and digest it easily.

Our bodies are always in the present moment. Our minds, however, transport to past and future at any time. Mind seldom stays in the present. Disconnect occurs when our minds are in the past or future for too long while our bodies remain in the present. Every cell in our bodies hears and responds to our thoughts. When we have too many fearful and angry thoughts they do everything they can to protect us. For example, if you feel fearful, your body will burn fewer calories to save energy for the uncertain future. When you are not thinking about uncertainty of future, your body will stay in the present and burn energy as needed. This is why stress can make you gain weight. Bodies are so amazing. They don’t just get anxious; they do what they can in the PRESENT moment to make you feel secure. They take actions. There is so much we can learn from them.

Staying in the present moment is the best way to keep your bodies connected to the Universe.

Meditation and yoga connects your body and mind.

Complain less and appreciate more
Eat only enough and love more than enough
Stress less and play more
Talk less and listen more

Your bodies enable you to enjoy this beautiful earthly life. Do not take it for granted. Love it back because it loves you more than anyone else can ever love you.

Image Credit: eye

Note: Special thanks to LC for her help in editing this article.