One way to improve life dramatically and quickly

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TL/DR: No criticism whatsoever, not of yourself and not of others

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Life is full of valleys and peaks. There is always something to complain about. It’s not true that successful people don’t complaint. Everyone complaints. Life is not perfect. There are things that could be different and better. But often times, we don’t look at things as something to improve upon, rather we judge them as not good enough.

It is possible to improve things and ourselves without any need of criticism, if we focus on facts and eliminate all the judgments that we bring from our perspective. E.g., I forgot to put salt in my soup. This is a fact. If we add, I am forgetful so I forgot to put the salt, that’s a criticism. Take this to any area of your life. My boyfriend left me because I am not good enough. Let’s distinguish fact from judgment. Your boyfriend left. That’s it. There is no reason to criticize yourself or him.

This is not to downplay the need to improve but rather accelerating this improvement. When we focus on facts, it’s easier to tackle the main problems. As humans, we add our feelings to all aspects especially when something implies that we are not good enough. It hurts us. Unfortunately, it also adds additional layer that needs to be opened up before we can get to the underlying problem.

It may not be easy at first, but if we can focus on practicing in differentiating facts from judgments, we can accelerate our healing. See the below examples that differentiate between critical and non-critical views.

ExampleCritical Point Of View (POV)Fact based POV
My boyfriend left meMy boyfriend left me because I am not good enough, he is not a good person, etc.My boyfriend left me. It hurts. It has nothing to do with me because we are all free to do things we desire. I may have made mistakes based on what I believed in the past. From now on I will try my best make better decisions.
I did not get a promotionI didn’t get a promotion because of office politics. I did more work than others, I deserve it more than others. Life is not fair.I did not get promotion. It’s disappointing. I tried my best but at the end, this is not something that I control. I will continue to improve myself and review various options to make my life better.

As I said, this approach is not easy at the beginning. With practice, we can become better. This will not reduce our mistakes but it will shorten the time it takes to learn from our mistakes and move on.

The World Is Getting Better

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Despite what the new sources constantly tell us, the world is getting better. I recently read the book “Factfulness” by Hans Rosling. The book does not give false hope or makes us feel better by ignoring the rest of the world but by providing the facts about how the world has improved just within a couple of generations. E.g. Over the last 20 years, the proportion of people living in extreme poverty has almost been cut in half; early in the 19th century, 12% of the world could read and write, today it’s 83%. Billionaire Philanthropist, Bill Gates is a huge fan of this book, you can read his take as well as excerpt from the book here.

On personal level, I often find myself stressed over the current condition of world. After reading the Factfulness, I started to think about my own life. I am better than how I was doing just a few years ago. Things have improved in my world. Do you think your life has improved? Maybe you have better friends now? Maybe you learned something to make your life just a tad better than how it was last year?

How many of us are in any war zone now? In reality, we are safer now than we have ever been in the history of civilization. Since the information travels much faster now, we are almost instantly aware of atrocities that happen around the world. We mistakenly think that unfairness is dominating, when in fact, it’s the news about unfairness is that is spreading. News makes us aware of bad things that happen in the world, we must not ignore them but we must also not conclude, ‘the world is getting worse.’ We must do our part in bringing happiness to the world, which means sticking to the facts about the world getting better. No need to bring fear in our as well as minds of others.

There are many things we still need to resolve but we must remember, we got this, we are getting better and we will continue to get better, thanks to the innovations and kind people like you. Let’s be happy today for our safety and let’s do our best to make this world a better place.

Have you said thanks to those who bring happiness to your life every day? Your parents, the coffee shop cashier, the receptionist? Take a moment to thank others now. Need more actions? How about signing a petition for plastic control? Did you know that pollution in Beijing, China has decreased 54% in 2017 from just a year earlier? It can be done, it has been done, and next time things will be even better!

We are only 2 seconds old if the Earth is 1 day old, so let’s keep our hopes and actions up.



5 Es to Exceptional You

Express, Environment, Energize, Experience, Evolve

1. Express yourself: You are a channel through which Universe expresses itself. If you do not express, you are denying the truth that is within you.

What is mean by expressing yourself? Expressing does not mean giving opinions.

Expressing = accepting your feelings. It is about you.

E.g. She is a bitch an Opinion

I am angry at her because her actions made me feel bad is Expressing

When others fail to fulfill our expectations we feel angry, resentful, envious, frustrated etc.

We need to identify how we feel about certain issues and then release the emotions.

Why?  Trapped emotions reflect through our bodies. Emotions = Energy. Energy needs to escape so it can be repurposed. By releasing your emotions i.e. expressing yourself, you make space for new energy. If you are always angry, how can you ever be joyous?

I do not mean you forget what happened. You consciously forgive others and yourself so you can move on.

How to express yourself? When your partner says something hurtful or when your boss criticizes you, don’t bottle it up. I don’t mean scream at them right there and then. Remember that expressing yourself is about you, not them.

When you are alone or with a trusted friend (a friend who does not judge you), let go of yourself completely. Imagine the person who has hurt you is with you and then talk to them (imagination only). Tell him or her how you feel.

E.g. you were passed on for a promotion. When you are alone, imagine your boss is with you. Say, “Kristina (boss), I am so angry that you did not give me the promotion. I worked hard for 2 years and it feels like it did not matter at all. I feel very disappointed. I feel like I have been taken advantage of. I feel angry, resentful, betrayed and frustrated. How could you do this to me?” Think of all the emotions you are feeling and express them. If it helps, write them down but saying verbally feels so much better. Cry if you feel like it. You are not doing anything bad. You are releasing your emotions.

When you feel a little better, then ask yourself what would make this situation better? Find a solution that gives you feelings of control and satisfaction (I don’t mean revenge). Can you look for another position? Can you ask for a transfer?  Was the other person, in fact, more eligible?

Sometimes when you talk to someone when they are not with you, they can still hear you (through vibrations). Maybe your boss will realize her mistake and promote you as well.

Remember to express your positive emotions as well. Laugh with your heart and eyes. There is always something silly and funny going on. Lighten up your heart.

2. Environment: Your environment brings your experiences. If you are constantly in negative environment, your experiences will be similar. You can control your environment.

Consciously choose your surroundings.

You adapt to your surroundings unless you are aware of it. Hanging out with a constant complainer may make you the same way. You do not have to ignore that person fearfully.

When you are with a person who makes you feel bad, simply observe him or her. Do not judge. Know that his or her experiences do not have to be true for you. Be a listening ear and nothing else. Don’t feel his or her feelings. When you do not give constant attention to complainers they tend to leave you alone so they can find someone who will feel bad for them.

Surround yourself with positive energy, people and places. Go for a walk in nature, do some yoga, listen to uplifting music or watch funny videos. These are some of the ways to consciously choose your surroundings.

3. Energize: Your sacred body and mind needs sacred energy.

Your body loves you, love it back.

Energize your body with nourishing foods and water. Eat for your body, not for your feelings.

Physical exercise will release trapped emotions and toxins from your body while providing you with energy.

Yoga will connect your mind and body with each other.

Energize your soul by expressing yourself as mentioned in the 1st point.

Meditate regularly. Meditation connects you with the source. This is the strongest way to energize.

4. Experience: Do not judge your circumstances. Simply experience them. You do not know whether particular situation is good or bad.

When someone gives you a gift, you think it is as a good experience. You do not know that yet. The person who gives you the gift may have bad intentions for you but you do not know that. When you receive a gift, simply observe how you feel. Do you feel happy, appreciated, or loved?

When someone hurts you, you think it is a bad experience. You do not know that yet. Perhaps a small “bad” experience has saved you from a big “bad” experience. Observe how you feel. Do you feel betrayed, hopeless or disappointed?

When you become an observer of your experience, you immediately connect to the source. By judging your experiences, you are charging them positively or negatively. Keep your experiences neutral.

5. Evolve: Learn from your mistakes. Do not fret over them. Change habits that do not connect you with the source. Failure evolves you to succeed, so don’t be afraid to fail and keep trying.

Forgive and accept yourself.

Read more, experience more and live every moment.

Follow your ideas

More frequently than not, we come up with great ideas. We think it can change the world. We feel happy and thrilled. Everything seems in its place until someone doesn’t agree with us or when we doubt our own success. Doubts would be something like these: there are already people who are providing these services or goods, you will face too much competition, you are not big enough blah blah blah. Then, we give up even before we start.

There will always be people who don’t agree with your ideas. Fortunately there are always people who support you with your purpose. These are the people who inspire you and who are inspired by you. Inspiration is not always obvious. Sometimes we inspire without knowing. People don’t always verbalize their gratitude or positive feelings. This does not mean that you do not make a difference in their lives.

Don’t doubt your own efforts. Do it for the people who inspire you and that person can very well be yourself. If you make a small difference even in one person’s life, it’s worth the effort.

The ideas that come in your head, are not your own. You receive them from your Higher Self.  No matter how small, take an action. It can be just writing down your ideas in the notebook. It will make a difference.

Good Luck!

Taking things personally

When people talk negative about us or look down at us, it is hard not to take it personally. But what exactly are we taking personally? It is other people’s opinions and feelings. The hurtful feelings are not ours. We are taking on unnecessary burden.

When people are behaving negatively, their behavior says a lot about them and NEVER about you.

Their opinion about you or your behavior comes from their upbringings or thoughts; it has NOTHING to do with you or your behavior.

Therefore, do not take anything personally. They don’t know you the way you know yourself. Perhaps you made mistakes but you are not a mistake. Your mistakes don’t represent you. You are whole regardless of your behavior.

If we hate people who hate us, then we are reflecting on their behavior, not their true self. If we forgive those who hurt us, we are reflecting on their true self. And since we are all one source, forgiveness means being true to ourselves.

It is easier to forgive than you think. We all have said bad things about others, either to hurt them or gain approval from others. If you can forgive yourself, you can forgive those who have done the same thing.

So next time someone says something hurtful, remember to repeat, “It is not about me, it is about them. I forgive.” 🙂


Why Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Fly High with Knowledge

When I first learned about the law of attraction, I wondered how a nice person can attract bad things. I thought that a good person can never have bad thoughts.

I now realize that there are no such things as good or bad. We have created these labels for our convenience.

The law of attraction does not judge us. It only responds to the frequency of our thoughts. When we are vibrating on a frequency of being a victim, the law of attraction will bring us people who will make us feel like a victim. The law doesn’t say, “omg, Smita what are you doing, think something different” or “even though she is thinking thoughts of being a victim I will still bring her people who respect her”. The law does not label our thoughts; it simply brings them as a reality.

This is the reason bad things happen to good people. I recently met a person who does his best to serve others. He told me that all his life he served others. Unfortunately he thinks that people take advantage of his good nature without reciprocating. The law of attraction simply makes it a reality for him. If he believes that he is served by others as others serve him, his reality will reflect that.

Our most important task is to pay attention to our thinking pattern. Even better would be to think as little as possible and to stay in the present moment. If silencing your mind is a too difficult task, at least think thoughts that bring you a positive reality.

In the core of us, we are neither good nor bad. We simply are. Things don’t happen to us, we attract them.

Do it Anway

The hardest thing to do is to begin. We often plan things in our mind but rarely take actions. We are too consumed in daily lives of what is than what can be.

Can it be because we are lazy?

No, we are not lazy. We wake up every day even when we don’t feel like it, dress ourselves and our kids, go to work or school and come back home. By no means that can be called lazy.

I believe that real reason that we do not take actions is that deep within us lies fear. This fear stops us from doing something new or unusual because it might be scary. We feel safer where we are because at least we are familiar with the feelings.

There are two types of fear. Fear of failure and fear of success.

Fear of failure: This is a learned fear. I believe that fear of failure is learned through our parents. It is hard for adults to learn swimming because adults are more fearful of unknown situations compare to children, who are always eager to try new things.

As we grow older, we observe our parents or surrounding adults talking about failure in negative way and assume that this is a legit fear. If adults surrounding us did not respond to their failure positively we learned that it is bad to fail. Failing is not bad. Never trying is bad. Never taking a risk is bad.

When we do something we are bound to make mistakes. But taking no action is the worst mistake. We are bound to miss 100% of the chances we never we take.

Fear of success: Fear of success protects us from being in limelight. It is uneasy for many people to even receive a compliment. They are afraid that by being the focus they are attracting unwanted attention from enemies (due to our evolution process- lion eats the person who is in the front not the ones in group).

It is not easy to get rid of any of the fear and you shouldn’t. As I said, fear is here to protect us, it guides us. That feeling you get when you know you need to run away from danger is fear. It is only trying to protect you. It’s not only good thing, it is an amazing thing.

Every time we encounter fear before taking an action, we need to convince ourselves that there is no danger in doing it. E.g. at first you might be afraid to swim but under a trained instructor you can convince yourself that nothing bad can happen to you, you will always be protected by your instructor. If protection is taken care by instructor, fear can rest and you can finally take the first step in a swimming pool.

No matter how scared you feel to do something, do it anyway. People who succeed feel the same fear but they take actions anyway.

Taking the first step might be harder but once you get started you know your journey will end one day. You might fail but you might as well succeed.

No matter the outcome, taking the first step is already a victory.

Failure is only an illusion, with every failure there is one less attempt to try.

Success is also an illusion. Success is not just an award in a ceremony; it is the satisfaction you feel in your heart knowing that you had enough courage to go beyond your fears. You untangled the web of fear and through it you made a quantum leap into the web of actions.

Every action has a reaction; it is only matter of time when your seed will grow the first root. Remember root is within soil, you cannot see it until first sprout comes out but you know that it is there. Have patience.

Never ever stop taking actions because every time you start something you have changed this world just a bit.

The Truth

Mt. Rainier, Washington

We all want to be happy. This is a journey to experience happiness in doing and in being. First, Happiness comes from being then it comes from doing.

Real happiness stems from the truth that we are sufficient without any needs.

We are all that exist. Whatever exists is us.

Truth sets us free. Truth brings us real happiness. But happiness cannot come, it is always there. Knowing that you are magnificent is the discovery of happiness. Believing that you are an average person with no magnificence is the darkness. Why should we believe in such lies? Would you ever believe that you are a horse? Then why would you believe that you are an average person.

You cannot believe your truth you can only know your truth. You are that which you wish you could be. You are the wealth, you are the love, you are the stars, you are all there is. You are amazing. You are not a reflection of happiness, you are the happiness. You are the truth.

Then why do you choose to forget this truth? Why do you buy into the lies that you hear from others? Because you make a choice. When society gives you pressure, you make a choice to go along with them rather than standing out. You would rather mixed in than stand out. It is just so much more comfortable or so you think. Your thinking is the problem.

Thinking is tool that got us where we are in our evolutionary process. The tool that is our best friend but without the proper discipline our worst enemy. When someone tells you that are not good enough you think of it as the truth. You start believing the lie as a truth because it seems easier. It feels wrong but seems right. Right is not the truth. Truth has no right or wrong. Truth is the truth. Something is either the truth or nothing at all.

I don’t want to go into the lies that you have believed but I do want to show you the truth you are seeking. What you seek is already there. Your magnificence is the truth. You are the love. Don’t believe into the lies that anyone has told you. Know your own magnificence. You do not have to start thinking. You have to do exact opposite of thinking. You simply have to be. Being is the truth. You simply have to relax and let your truth lead you where you need to be. There is nothing new to invent but a few things to discover. Discover yourself in the light of truth. Just for a minute, know that you are all that there is. Just for a minute, say with me that “I am all that there is and that is the truth”. Your personal truth is you are a spiritual being in the human form. You are here to enjoy the ride. Nothing that has ever happened in your past can take away your truth. Your truth cannot be touched because lie doesn’t exist. Lie is the illusion. Let’s be open to our truth. Let’s be open to our magnificence.